Do Not Go Gently
by LittlestRedBird
Summary: "This sucks." He whined out, trying to hold the tears at bay. "Today was supposed to be a fun day not a nightmare and I am definitely not supposed to be dead." His voice cracked as the tears finally spilled down his cheeks. He was scared. Kaminari Denki is dead or at least he thinks he is. It's really the only logical conclusion he can come up /
1. Chapter 1

Kaminari Denki is dead or at least he thinks he is. It's really the only logical conclusion he can come up with. He's been standing in front of Kirishima and shouting for the past ten minutes, slowly becoming more and more hysterical the longer the red-haired boy ignores him. He doesn't remember much of the day before he woke up, doesn't really remember a lot of the fighting that has clearly shaken up his fellow classmates but he knows it must have been bad. He can't recall how he theoretically died but he knows at some point in the chaos he must have overcharged himself and that's where he always seems to find the most trouble. He must have fried himself in an attempt to take out as many villains as possible. He'd been stuck, cornered with nowhere to go alongside Jirou and Yaoyorozu. Their fear had almost been palpable in the air and it had taken some convincing from the girls before he had thrown down one of his biggest electrical surges to date and it must have worked but he has no memory of what happened afterwards.

He had woken up on his back, slowly blinking up at the USJ ceiling before scrambling up and frantically searching for Jirou and Yaoyorozu. He had spotted the purple bob first, darting over to Jirou to ask her what had happened. At first, he thought she was ignoring him, the girl standing huddled up with the rest of their class bar Midoriya and Aizawa. The group was clustered together and most of his classmates had shell shocked looks on their faces. He had called out to Jirou, wanting to know what had happened but the girl had continued to softly speak to Yaoyorozu. He had been expecting the headphone jack user to berate him as usual not ignore him. Frowning in annoyance, he had moved closer to the group and tried to grab her shoulder only for his fingers to slide through the other girl's body. The encounter had shaken him, leading Kaminari to frantically follow the group and try to gain the attention of his other classmates only to repeat the experience.

He had quickly grown more and more panicked until his desperate antics at being noticed led to his current escapades which included but were not limited to jumping, screaming, and waving his hands in front of his best bro's face. Kirishima continued to be oblivious to Kaminari's suffering (the boy cuddled close and whispering lowly to Bakugou) and the electric blonde finally flopped down on the floor of the bus shuttling the traumatized teens back to UA.

"This sucks." He whined out, trying to hold the tears at bay. "Today was supposed to be a fun day not a nightmare and I am definitely not supposed to be dead." His voice cracked as the tears finally spilled down his cheeks. He was scared. He wanted Kirishima and Jirou to respond to him. He wanted someone, anyone, to throw an arm around his shoulders and loudly proclaim that this was all a joke. He wanted his mom to tell him things would be okay but most importantly he really, really wanted to not be dead. A sob wracked through his frame and he brought his knees to his chest, hiding his face as he cried even harder. What was he supposed to do now? What would his family do? He had so many question's running through his head and it hurt.

The screeching of brakes finally broke him out of his moping fest and he stood up, wiping at his eyes with his jacket sleeve. He lingered at the back of the crowd, watching as his class made their way off the bus. He recognized Present Mic and Midnight as they ushered the somber students into the safety of UA but he didn't move from his spot inside the bus. He was too scared to attempt at gaining the other teacher's attention. He didn't want to get his hopes up only to face the bitter truth. Slowly, as he watched the group disappear into the building, he exited the bus and stopped. He wasn't quite sure where to go, his feet scuffing the asphalt but making no noise. Should he follow them inside the school? Could he go home? Did he need to try and find his body? The very thought of seeing his own corpse had the boy shivering, almost sending him back into a fit of crying. He wanted to be brave but the situation had already spiraled so far out of his control that he was left to wonder what he should do. He really didn't want to spend eternity as a ghost. He needed to find out what had happened. That would be his first step but to do that he'd need to make his way back to the USJ facility and he didn't think he was ready to go back. He wasn't even sure if he could get back there. They had taken a bus to and from the building and he honestly hadn't been paying much attention the direction they had driven to get there. It didn't seem like a long drive but walking would be a different story.

"At least it can't get much worse. I'm already dead." He muttered to himself, trying and failing to lift his own spirits. With a resigned sigh, Kaminari started what he was sure to be a long trek back to the place of his death.


	2. Chapter 2

It feels like he's been walking for hours, realistically he knows he hasn't, but the mental and physical exhaustion has taken its toll. He didn't think the dead could get tired but by the time he makes it to the USJ facility he's wobbling on his feet. There's a crowd surrounding the building. Police, pro heroes, and media alike are swarming around the front gates. For a moment he's frozen, the terror and desperation at his situation slamming back into him.

He can hear the reporters demanding answers as Midnight and Snipe try to keep them at bay. Police are milling about, coming and going from the building as Kaminari stands there and watches, his attention still focused on the questions being thrown back and forth. There's talk about injuries, two people in critical care who he can only assume are Aizawa and Midoriya. He's waiting with bated breath to hear his own name dropped but so far there's nothing.

He's not sure how long he stand's there watching the controlled chaos before a body is slamming through him. At least, that's the closest he can really describe what just happened. He had been so focused trying to hear any mention of his name that he doesn't see one of the reporter's running up behind him. His attention is full heartedly locked onto the Q&A happening in front of him that it takes another body hitting and then moving through his own to bring him back to reality.

He dissipates, for a second there's nothing but white noise as he feels his body fade away. It's only that second but to Kaminari it seems to take years before he's back again, on his knees with his arms around himself as he chokes and shivers. It hadn't hurt but it's another thing to add to his growing list of "reasons why I'm definitely dead". A shaky breath leaves him as he pushes himself back up and decides to make his way into the USJ building. There's too much of a crowd outside and he doesn't think he'll be able to avoid another person walking through him. That's definitely an experience he doesn't want to repeat.

He ducks under the police tape blocking off the front gates, glancing back at the pro's trying to contain the crowd. He doesn't envy their position, the chaos making him grateful for a brief second that no one could see him before the loneliness hits him once more. It's only been an hour or two but he feels so incredibly alone. His mother called Kaminari her "social butterfly", the boy could always be found flitting back and forth between friends and playing. He's not used to this feeling of isolation. Quickly he tries to shake off the creeping feelings of distraught before it can drag him back under. He needs to be brave and he can't let himself fall to pieces like he wants to.

"I can do this." He mutters. "I just have to pretend I'm brave like Kiri or Bakugou." He almost deflates again at the thought of his friends. Thinking back to Kirishima's face of shock and pain alone causes a pang to rip through his chest. He wants this to be over. He wants to be at home cuddled next to his mother and telling her how his day went like normal. Most importantly, he wants so badly to be wrong.

He can't even begin to imagine what his mother is going through right now. He was her only family and he knew she couldn't lose him. She had been so wary about letting him apply for the hero course to begin with. He had promised her before he left, like every other morning, that he'd be safe and do his best at school. He had left the apartment and walked out the door of their tiny apartment with false promises on his lips. She was probably still on her rotation in the emergency room. She would have been one of the first of the parents to realize what had happened. She wouldn't have even needed the call from the school to know. A breaks free, his hand coming up to cover his mouth as he stops his trek through the building. She was going to be devastated. This wasn't fair. He wouldn't wish this on any of his other classmates but why him? Why did it have to be him?

He stares at his feet, the tears blurring the image of his boots. He was trying and failing to control his breathing. With a sniff, he brought a hand up to wipe at his face before looking up at his surroundings. It seemed that even in the middle of a breakdown he was able to retrace his steps back to where he last remembered being alive. The ground was littered with scorch marks that he thinks may be from the usage of his quirk. Not far from the damage there's a splatter of red marring the dirt. He moves closer, kneeling to crouch next to the stain and hover his fingers over it. He can't bring himself to actually touch it, but he knows what it is. His eyes are wide as he stares at his own blood smeared across the ground, his breathing fast and ragged. He's panicking, vision blurring as white noise comes back to engulf him. He's cold and he can't breathe. If he could he would laugh at the irony that even though he's dead and clearly a ghost, he still needs to breathe. Exhaustion hits him out of nowhere and he lets go, finally letting the darkness that had been creeping over him the whole time take over.


	3. Chapter 3

Kaminari doesn't think he's going to wake up this time around, but he does. He comes too surrounded by white; white walls, white lights, white floors, and for a moment he thinks he's finally passed on. His breath hitches as thoughts of being stuck in some sort if blindingly white limbo fill his head before he begins to recognize his surroundings. Slowly, as he blinks owlishly, he takes in the hustle and bustle of a hospital and he groans. He hopes this pattern of passing out and waking up in different places doesn't become a habit.

He pushes himself up off the hospital floor, desperately searching the familiar area for the one face he needs to see. Nurses are running back and forth but not one of them happen to be his mother. He bites his lip in frustration at the sting of tears. He needs to stop crying. He's already cried more in the aftermath of the USJ attack than he has in the past year. With a sigh, Kaminari begins the slow trek through the hospital, trying to figure out why exactly he woke up here. A part of him hopes it's because he so desperately wants his mother. He wants to hear her voice soothing away his fears. He wants to feel her arms around him, squeezing as she comforts but he doesn't think it's really that easy.

He's so lost in his own head that he doesn't notice the others milling about. It's not until he glances up, eyes locking on to the dead stare of the man in front of him that he realizes he's not the only lost soul wandering about. He let's out a yelp, stumbling backwards in horror. A whimper slips out as he stares wide eyed at the figure looming over him. He's gaunt, jaw hanging down at an unnatural angle. He's covered in a mix of dirt and blood, clothes ripped and tattered to reveal torn flesh and exposed bone. The man does nothing but stand there and all Kaminari can do is stare in horror. It feels as if his heart is pounding through his chest as he tries to scramble away and if he wasn't currently shaking in terror, he'd ponder the irony of a ghost having a heartbeat.

He's so scared. Kaminari doesn't think he's ever been this scared before, but he can't look away from the man in front of him. He's paralyzed with fear; his mother had given him first aid lessons especially after she had found out his plans to enroll in a hero course but nothing she had ever taught him about trauma patients could have ever prepared him for this. He's stuck staring, frozen in shock and he can't shake himself out of it. He can't breathe, air stuck somewhere between his lungs and the middle of his throat and he can't get away.

"Oh sweetheart." A feminine voice shushes him. "It's alright."

Kaminari blinks as hands gently cradle his face and he's automatically leaning into the first touch he's felt since this whole mess started. Soft fingers turn his face, moving his gaze away from the man and the first thing to fill his vision is black, curly hair. His mind automatically goes to Midoriya, the only person he knows with hair that curly but it's not the green haired boy. It's a woman. She's thin, almost willowy with kind eyes and gentle hands. She's wearing a hospital gown and has frail but determined look about her and she's so much better than man. Her hands are running through his hair, crooning softly in an attempt to calm him down.

"That's just Takashi. He can't hurt you. He doesn't even know we're here."

He looks up in confusion, not understanding. It takes him a minute before he works up the courage to even speak to her. "I don't understand. Why can't he see us? He's dead just like we are, isn't he?"

Her face crumbles, eyes turning sad and quiet for a moment before she's pulling him up to his feet and leading him away from Takashi. She guides him down the corridor, turning into a less populated hallway and stopping in front of a closed door.

"My names Shioreta Hana," She gives him a small smile and he shakily returns it. "but you can call me Hana."

"Kaminari Denki." His voice is quiet as he introduces himself. Her slow intake of breath startles him ad he gives her a questioning look.

"Kaminari? Like the nurse?"

"She's my mother."

There's a lump in his throat as he answer's and she nods in understanding. There's a brief pause of silence before Hana takes his hand and leads him into the room. The noise of confusion he makes is audible because laying in the hospital is Hana. She's hooked up to several different tubes and machines but it's clearly her.

"You're not dead, Denki. If you were, I wouldn't be able to interact with you and Takashi would have seen you."

For the second time in a short period Kaminari feels everything he's known come crashing down around him. There's a feeling of elation but it's short lived because he's still so confused and scared. Hana pulls him closer to the bed, a sympathetic look on her face as she tries to help him understand.

"Technically we died but we weren't gone for very long before they got us back." She's gazing down at herself in the bed with wistful eyes. "We're alive but we're stuck."

"What do you mean stuck?" His voice is quivering as he tries to keep with all this new information.

"We can't get back in. When our heart stopped, we left our bodies, but we never made it back before they brought us back. So, we're stuck."

She turns to Kaminari, grabbing his hand and bringing his attention down to his wrist. Her fingers pluck delicately at the space above his joint and a thrum resounds throughout his body. His eyes dart down to his wrist and he immediately tries to yank his hand away and out of the string looped around his appendage. It's white and shiny, reminding him of the florescent lights he had awoken too earlier, and its laying draped across his hand and hanging down by his thigh to lead out past the door.

"That's your tether. It's what connects you to your body."

Hana gestures to her own connecting her wrist to her physical body. "As long as your tether is intact and connected you can find your way back."

Kaminari tucks away that bit of information for later, hungrily devouring any sort of answers Hana can tell him. Her gaze turns serious as if she's about to tell him something important and he leans closer, attention solely fixated on the other.

"The tether connects you. You can wander away and leave wherever your body is but not for too long before it snaps you back like a rubber band. Don't let that happen too many times or the tether will start to fray. If it breaks you won't be able to get back into your body."

She steps forward and her hands come up to grasp his shoulders. Her fingers dig into his soft skin.

"Listen to me and remember this, Denki. There are things out there that will try to break your tether. Takashi couldn't see you but that doesn't mean worse things can't. Your body is an empty vessel at this point and there are things out there that will try to take advantage of that. I've seen people find their way back in as long as their tether is intact. Do not let it break."

His head bobs up and down as he frantically nods. There's so much information floating around in his head right now and he's trying and failing to process it all. It's a lot. It's almost too much for him to comprehend and he has so many questions.

"Hana, how long did it take for the others to get back?"

He wants to be told that he can wake up in his body within a day, but he knows just by watching Hana stare sadly at her own body that it won't be that easy. She all but confirms his fears when she answers.

"Sometimes it was a few days. Others took years. Some… some never do. It just depends."

He deflates at the answer. Hana reaches out once again to pluck at his tether.

"Go and follow it. The most important thing for you right now is to see for yourself. You're not dead. There's still some hope."

He doesn't want to leave her. He's just met her, but Hana had immediately become a lifeline that he wants to cling to and never let go of, but the woman is ushering him out of her room. Her hands coax him back out into the hallway and he stands there for a moment, lost. He turns to Hana and after a reassuring smile is sent his way, he turns back to follow his own tether.

It doesn't take him long to recognize the section of the hospital he's found himself in. He knows the ICU like the back of his hand. His mom had been working as a nurse in the department for practically half his life. He follows the tether until it stops outside a door and he pauses. A part of him is too scared to go into the room but he steels himself. He wants to be with his mom. He wants to see his classmates again, to hang off of Kirishima as he teases Bakugou. He wants to joke and laugh with Sero and Ashido. He wants so much so badly it hurts but he can't help but to think back on what Hana had told him. What if he never makes it back?

He bounces on the balls of his feet, shaking off his nerves. This is the first step to trying to get his life back and he's had enough of being afraid. With that thought, he moves forward and steps into the room. He almost immediately regrets his earlier bravado. It's disorienting, seeing himself lying still in a hospital bed and hooked up to different machines. His eyes stray towards the breathing tube down his throat before they lock onto the blonde figure sitting next to his bed. She's still in her scrubs, hair disheveled with blood shoot eyes. She's clinging to his hand and she has dried tear stains running down her cheeks. Kaminari Hikari looks the worst he's ever seen her and that hurt's him more than anything. That she sat in here by herself and cried over him. The tears that he had told himself he wouldn't shed begin to spill over and he kneels in front of her as the sobs break lose.

"Mom." His voice cracks as he pleads to ears that won't hear his call. "Mom, I'm scared."


End file.
